Today I will say was a BEAUTIFUL day. Church was fabulous (Teaching Sunday school, Service, and socializing with wonderful people). The sermon was heavy but AMAZING (I'll talk about that in a bit).
Today I also babysat around 15 kids with one of my good friends. It was SO MUCH FUN. I loved it, and the kids are soooo adorable.
We all went to the park while the parents had their small group.
We had just gotten to the park.
"Miss. Rebe, I need to go to the bathroom."
It just made me CRACK up it was so cute. I took her to my friends house (which was closer by one street :).
This is me with just a # of the kids (credit of Kate's photography//picture). There were many more kids, though. They LOVED the tire swing... and this cute girl Jenae decided she need to push me on the tire swing (I am not a fan), but she was like "I won't go hard on you!" so I gave in. Yeah.... I didn't like it too much :).
Then there was this little 4 and 3/4 year old who was shy at the beginning (I hadn't met here, even though she goes to my church). I asked her name. Sophia. She started to open up, and then something about how her birthday was in May came up. I asked what day. May 3rd. No way. The day I was planned to be born, but just a day earlier I was born. A day apart. This is the reason she said she was 4 and 3/4. So so cute. Then she said... "I like you." "I like you both." We told her we liked her back. She said that off and on throughout the day... so cute. They're all just beautiful kids, and have such loving hearts.
The afternoon ended, and the evening started to roll in, and by 6:15 I was home.
I did some vacuuming, and cleaning. I put my sheets in the washer. And I loved the feeling of a clean house. I feel way less stressed and happy (yeah, call me crazy).
Later, my dad and I went to Lunds to pick up some food, and we had dinner, and then I put some clothes away. And now I'm drinking some Chai and praying for dear life during SATs tomorrow ;).
I actually like spring testing. Not homework to worry about, just tests and a chill day, with reading in between!
Just the last two classes of the day. Which won't be bad.
Spanish and Orchestra.
The next few days I will be adding good antioxidants to my breakfast (even if I'm not hungry... which I'm usually not. My breakfast usually consists of a VERY small bowl of oatmeal with soy milk in it + a glass of orange juice). Tomorrow and Tuesday I will be making bigger and high fiber + protein breakfasts. SAT testing, bring it on!
As I said, this morning was a VERY hard and heavy sermon. We started a new series (a four week series), on Twisting the Truth. The truth gets so easily twisted in this world. Things get changed and we by into the lies of satan and what the world has to offer us. Nothing heavenly and hopeful.
Listening to this sermon made me tear up. I don't usually tear up during sermons. Actually, I never have. Today, this reality broke in. I teared up.
From a girl who has listened to one too many lies... from everyone who has listened to too many lies.
I believed I wasn't good enough. I believed I wasn't worth it. I believed I was too much. I wanted to throw my life away.
But these were little lies. Started out as simply little thoughts. But these thoughts became obsessions, and addictions, and hurts, and shame... so much, from so little.
Satan twisted my truth. He twisted my life. He twists all our lives.
There is hope. There is healing. There is TRUTH which stands like no other.
God is our rock. God is our truth. God is our way. God is our hope.
Our history//past may just simply seem like pages of shame and stupidity, pain, hurts... but this history of ours made us who we are TODAY. I would NEVER be the person I am today if I wouldn't have walked through and done the things I did. I tear up as I say this... God has done a work in my life. An amazing work. I just see his footsteps through everything... and I am overwhelmed.
I was blind and a fool. I've wasted time on selfish desires. But this history of mine is BEAUTIFUL. There's not a thing about I would think about changing. I may have been shamed to speak about it, but I've gotten over it. I realize I'm not alone. I'm not the only one. I may sound stupid to some, but if I help just one... that's my goal. That is good enough for me. Even none is good enough for me. My life was planned from birth. God KNEW the things I would walk into, and the darkness I stepped through.
My history is beautiful.
My past is lovely.
There's not a thing.
Not one.
That I would change.
I know this is heavy, but this is life. This is what God came for. To SAVE us, to redeem us... To show us OUR paths and histories... they're BEAUTIFUL.
A good song that ties in with this on every level:
I pray that you see God in the little and large things this week. That you would be attentive to his
TRUTH. That you would cling to his side.
love and peace,
rebecca c
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