Thankful.

Today I have a heart of thanks.... my emotions have been every which way today. Weird feelings.
I went to go babysit, and I got to paint a three yr old's toe nails. Then I got picked up by my sister (and cousin) and drove to my other cousins house which was on the way from Stacey's.
We arrived there, got all of the stuff packed in the truck, and I started the ignition, and started backing up. All the snowboards and crap was in the way, and the driveway was at a slant, and I drove right into the snow bank. I put the car into drive and tried to get out. Fail.
I hopped out of the car just bawling. I felt so awful.
They started to shovel me out, tried to move the car and nothing was happening. It was only getting worse.
My dad finally came up, the hook to the murano and the other side to the truck. Yes, the murano is lighter, smaller, and not strong looking- but it is powerful, four wheel drive, and a life saver. My cousin hopped in the truck and my dad in the murano and within an instant they were out of there- and didn't even hit the tree or nothing!
It was such a blessing to have family who supports me in my worst failures... and stupidities. My aunt was helping me feel so much better when I was crying and putting myself down.... my dad hugged me the moment he got there and it was ok. no one was upset, we still got to powder ridge, and no one was a dip stick. they were mature, sweet, and extremely willing to help. I am beyond thankful. I love my family.

Love,
Rebs

Wild Game!

I had a beautiful night with the Fraasch & Tappe Family (Tappe's are my grandpa's sisters side). It was a wonderful night. Cousins, aunts, uncles, second cousins, aunts once removed, uncles twice, grandma once removed..... it goes on.
It was so fun to watch a hockey game (yay)! and visit with family I never knew I had. Hilarious people all around. I was laughing all night.... eating like crazy and enjoying the suites that were bought out for us.
Also on the turbo cam I saw Kristen Galloway! I went downstairs and found her and visited with her family for a while, and then went back upstairs. The Wild lost 4-1 but the one goal we did get Nikki and I went CRAZY. It was so fun. Loved tonight.

Me and Kristen!

Me and Nichole!

I have silly cousins!!!

It's bound to happen....

You seem to be on this predictable cycle now.
It's maintaining your focus on one thing.
It's hanging out all the time.
It's solving their problems nonstop.
You seem to be on this predictable cycle now.
The world revolves around that person.
The person always has to have something wrong.
The problems don't end.
Your problem doesn't end.
You seem to be on this predictable cycle now.
There comes this point, though.
There is a time, though.
There's a point in the relationship, though.
You seem to be on this predictable cycle now.
When this person knows too much.
When this person doesn't have a problem anymore.
When someone else, problematic, comes along; "more alluring."
When it's easier to listen than speak.
You seem to be on this predictable cycle now.
You cut off the relationship before.
You leave the other broken.
You come up with excuses to stay away.
They know too much.
They don't have a problem.
Life is ok for them.
And you're gone.....
You've been on this predictable cycle for as long as I've known you.

Pride

On Sunday night I was at the Foty house.... hanging out, playing some games, and simply catching up. It was around 10:30 and I was up in Sunni's room figuring out her bluetooth... when I finished with that I decided it was time for me to go home. I went downstairs, put on my coat and then Asha asked if I could show her some tips about the Barnes and noble nook. I showed her some neat tips, and then Wendy and I just chatted it up. The topic of prayer for one another was brought up, and then she added a very thought provoking, heart moving statement said by her sister in law, "Rejecting someones request to pray for you is pride." That rocked my world.

*So many times we think we can do this life on our own. We reject when people ask to pray for us. We are prideful and that needs to change.

*If you're not comfortable sharing with someone don't be detailed. Tell them just to pray for you... that's seriously as simple as it has to be.

*Take advantage of the powerful work of prayer. People want to help you, me, her... Accept the kindness given to you.

I have been so convicted of this... honestly I am one of those people who shuts some people down for aking how they can pray for me. That attitude must change....They can only help me.

<3R

Feeling safe?

One of my all time favorite bands lately came out with a single on iTunes (their first EVER)!!!! I am absolutely in love with the song. Amazing.
There's a line, though, that goes a little something like this: "I wanna jump right in, right where we left off, I am not afraid, in fact I've never felt so safe...."

i am easily afraid of what will happen. i am afraid of what others will think of my past. i am afraid that i'll mess up the present. i have all of these fears of things that God has so beautifully created.... i am afraid of things that contain evil, and yet still may be in the beautiful path of my life. i am afraid.

i've been holding back to which is maybe a risk.... but maybe a risk worth taking.
am i truly living?
what is a life if you're not willing to risk. what is a life where you're worried all the time. what is a life without trusting, trusting God.

i'm sick of the life i was living.... in the middle. i'm going to jump back in. i'm going to trust and put my life back into the hands of my God... and feel safe again.

<3R

i am a disciple of jesus!!

a while back I was reading someone elses' blog, and it had a poem that I just fell in love with.
I printed it off and hung it up in my room.  it goes a little something like this....

I am a Disciple of Jesus

I am a part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have Holy Spirit Power, The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I am a disciple of His. I won't look back, let up, slow down, or back away.

My past is redeemed, my present makes sense. My future is secure.
I'm finished and done with low living, sight-walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals.
I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotion, plaudits, or popularity.
I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on His Presence, walk by patience, lift by prayer and labor by power

My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, by companions few, my Guide reliable, my mission clear.

I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded or delayed.
I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I won't give up, shut up, let up, until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, preached up, for the cause of Christ.

I am a disciple of Jesus!

I must go 'til He comes, give 'til I drop, preach 'til all know, and work 'til He stops me. And when He comes for His own, He will have no problem recognizing me; my banner will be clear.


...and there you have it. I am a disciple of jesus.

Sick & getting better.

Hello blogging world,

I had a horrible thing happen at the beginning of seventh hour yesterday.  I puked.  At school.

It seriously sucked... Anyway, I went down to the office to say that I was sick and needed to go home.  I called my mom, she picked me up, I got home, raced downstairs to just puke again.  I was so miserable.

I puked one other time within that hour span.  Seriously thought life couldn't get any worse.

I couldn't fall asleep because I had the most horrific chills, and I kept tossing and turning.  Finally I called my mom to get some medicine, and she rushed down stairs with some water, medicine, and calmed me down as I was in pain and chilly.  She gave me my medicine and I was out for about an hour.  I woke up and my dad came in with some applesauce which I couldn't keep down.  So after that whole situation I went to bed for the night... I had weird dreams & I couldn't stay asleep.  Weirdest night of my life.

I woke up at 7 to get some more water and medicine and then went back to sleep and woke up at 10 when my mom came in my room.  She had made me some chicken noodle soup (and took out the chicken), and made me eat up.  I was surprisingly hungry.  I ate that for both bfast and lunch.  I watched Dear John, did some homework, and relaxed.  

My plan as of now for tomorrow is sleep until 9ish, take a shower, and trot off to school.  We'll see how the night goes and everything, though.... I just have an hour and a half until I'm legit 24hrs puke/fever free! Thank the LORD.

<3 and peace.

My yogi tea bag does it again

Today was kind of... rough.

It was good until I got to bible, got my psat back, and found out that it didn't go well.  At all.

Does it count against me? No.  I was still upset though... telling myself over and over "you're stupid.  you're not good enough.  you're not going to pass the ACT."

I put myself in a place of self break down.  Tearing myself down, putting myself in a cranky mood and acting unmotivated.  Bad idea.

After school I put on my work out clothes and Kate and I headed down to the weight room, and we did our work out.

After the fact, I felt amazing.  I felt cranky free and I realized how much I needed to move on.

When I got home I got some tea out and looked at today's quote... totally fitting.

"Mantras you shouldn't say: I don't know; I'm not ready; I can't do it."

That really just topped the goodness on my day... I know God was up there saying "you can do it; you will be ready; you will know." I will get there... and it will be okay.

Happy Week to you!

Beautiful Sunday.

Today was quite the day.  I woke up, took a shower, headed out the door- Went to Starbucks and ran into an old friend, Lyssa.  Miss that girl! And we talked for a while.  I got my coffee, then I went and hung out with the little critters.  

After that I went to Cub and I saw a horrific accident on the way... so sad.  

I got the groceries needed and I went home.  I was saying good bye to my daddy.... he left today (but comes home tomorrow! and leaves again on Wed... hahah.  But my sister comes home WED)!!! Anyway, he gave me his old Nook today... I am rather excited.  Love things like that.  I put my sheets and blankets into the wash (FINALLY), and I cleaned things up, looked in the ads, and found some things that I needed.  I went to Target, got a selection of things, came home, took a chill pill and drank some Yogi tea.

Later, I got a text from Melissa asking for a babysitter tonight and I happily agreed.  I went over and hung out with Emerson and Rowan.  It was so much fun.  We laughed, played, crafted, and Rowan fell asleep in my arms :).

I love life.  Last week before break.

Love & Peace.

Tumblr.

Yesterday I looked into (and joined) a site called Tumblr.

This, essentially, is a blogging site.  You can post pictures, quotes, what you're thinking, sites, ect.  It's really neat.  If you want to read into the things I'm blogging about here's the link: www.chaiteathoughts.tumblr.com

]]peace and love[[

I refrained

I refrained from doing anything strenuous, social, or up beat today.  Today... I rested.

I woke up just a few minutes before my alarm went off (at like 9ish), and I went upstairs to find my dad plowing the enormous pile of snow.  Barnes and Noble was canceled as predicted.

My mom desperately wanted to go to Rainbow and needed someone to go with.  I agreed on the fact that I got to drive (because I had kind of a trust issue this morning... don't know what that was all about :)

After the cold break of morning, I drank my coffee, did yoga, took a shower, and ate some grapefruit.  

From there I watched a movie, cleaned a little, facebooked and read.

It was rather wonderful if I do say so myself.... I seemed kind of sharp whenever I talked to someone today.... and so I kind of refrained from that activity.  I decided it was best to not say much today.  I rather, acted as if I had never said a word in my life.  I needed it.

I just want to remind you... please take the time to clear out your mind of all the craziness that is going on... and don't do anything that requires you to do anything that is considered a great amount of work.  For a day.  You'll see the rewards at the end.

<3R

Grace

As you know, I recently changed my blog headline to "Walking with grace" -- As in, I am done with walking by myself and letting my head get to my heart and get down and wrong.  I am walking with grace by my side... lifting me up each time.  I have this great friend, who acts as my driver around town sometimes, but we listen to good music, talk good talks, and work out (and get sore).  The past few days we have had various reasons to go to different places and I have noticed the song "Grace" by Laura Story on several times.  I love this song so much.

My favorite line is: "Instead of trying to repay you I'm learning to simply obey you."

God doesn't say that following Him is easy, but God promises that He will always give us the tools we need to accomplish the obedience path laid out for us so beautifully.  We will be tempted, trialed, hurt, upset, frustrated, but what will you do? Will you give into those things and let those nonsense feelings get to your head (and your heart)?

Sometimes, the ugly truth is, it will.  We are human, the simple truth is that we will fall short, and that's where this walking with grace thing comes in.  This will pick us up again.  We can try harder next time.  Grace should give us perseverance and renewing.  

Peace & love.

Walking with grace:::

Caedmon's call reminded me today how much I rely on grace.  Throughout my whole entire life I have been walking with grace by my side, ready to pick me up when I fail yet again.

I am going to be completely honest, I suck at life.  I, we, are so fortunate to have this God.  I don't know where I'd be, where I'd go, what I'd do, how much I'd disappoint, ect without this grace walking with me.

I love Caedmon Call's cd, it always reminds me that God wants me to walk with Him. It's truly a wonderful thing to have this God on my side, to catch me when I fall.  

I don't know some days how I do these things:

• Say foul things to others
• Judge others
• Listen to sour things (and let them influence me).
• Ignore God's people who need help.
• Act apathetic.
• Complain.
• Act selfish

(and the list could keep going). 

I want to change some things that I do.  But also, I want to be accepting of the grace that is walking with me through this journey.  I don't feel worthy of it, nor do I deserve it, but it's a freeing gift that I desperately need.

Walk with grace.  Speak with love.  Join with peace.

<3R

Healthy food

I think my body is taking a toll.  I'm not quite sure where I stopped my great healthy eating streak, but my skin is definitely showing it.  No me gusta.  I think my body needs healthy food.

More healthy eating starts now.  I'm sorry body that I put you under all of this.  

I need some fresh fruits, protein, no grease, healthy dairy and whole grains.

 <3R

i am exhausted but from a long week i think i need to write

It is now Thursday night and I feel like it's been a century since I've been on this joint.

It has been a long week.  Legit I have felt like it's been a day ahead, but then I get pulled back into a day behind and therefore feeling like the longest time of my life.  

Some parts I've kind of despised about this week.  Others, I've rather enjoyed.  

I have found myself doing a lot of the following: venting, crying, laughing, singing, reading, studying, smiling, ect.

It has been rather sporadic (that's my new fav word i think).

They have been from one thing to the other extreme.  Like lots of crying.... but lots of laughing? Ha, funny joke rebs.  No legit I have been doing a lot of both this week, whether I like it or not.  And it's been genuine crying... but also genuine laughing (not just the laughing to cover up the crying).  Weird mix dude.

I have come to the result and conclusion, though, that there is no way on this planet that I cannot get on with my weeks/days without God being the first thing I do in the morning.  Scripture + praying gets me out of bed, gets me moving and also those words stay with me.... all day.  That is one of the greatest things about it.  Ashley has been challenging us to read the bible every morning while we eat breakfast... literally have been loving it.  I feel like I've been able to be more real with people, more honest, more genuine, more open, and more patient.  

I'm a work in progress and nothing that comes of me will ever be perfect, but I will always have God watching over.... giving the things that I need.

I had a beautiful night @ the concert (and McDonalds... ha).  

Now, I am tired and my eyes are droopy so I am going to bed.

Have a fun trip, Ashley!!!!

<3r