reflections..

so tonight we had a ralia game. i just got home about 20 minutes ago and enjoyed left over chinese food (which i was deeply craving on my drive home).
but we did not win our game. we lost to a number i lost track of.
as i was driving to school to drop a couple friends off..we were reflecting on the night. and negative points about the night. negative feelings.
i am just going to say this (not holding grudges): It does not do a person good (or a want to play soccer) when you are being yelled at from the side lines..and singled out the whole game. and during half time (even when the person saying it is not just you two). one girl and i were singled out by this person numerous times throughout the game. yes, she also singled others out, but not as much as us. or in as harsh of a tone as us. very fast i got hot tempered. i kept my feelings away from her..and i kept breathing through the game. i played some places i wasn't sure how to play..learned a lot. but what i am saying is we need to be patient. patient with the ones who are not patient with us, patient with those who do not learn easily..patient with hot heads..patient with our team. we are supposed to be a body; we are acting as a broken body. we cannot function this way.
the whole team but three tonight got rather dissed. the captains played as d and mid for the second half. slap in the face..you suck..not good enough. i was personally hurt, and by doing this we did not do any better..hopefully we will learn from this experience.

as i have spoke my thoughts and feelings..i want to reflect on a much more important topic. something that is calming me down. we have Sunday coming..in 5 minutes.
after i had dropped my friends off, i turned on my music and listened to At the Foot of the Cross the whole way home. I have seriously not listened to this song since 8th grade..i am laying all of this pain..all of this disappointments down for the sake of myself. bottling all of this up inside will do me no good. nothing. it will work against me..Yes, you've won my heart. Now I can trade these ashes in for beauty. I wear forgiveness like a crown. Coming to kiss the feet of mercy, I lay every burden down at the foot of the cross. I am done holding this inside. I am getting rid of it. My mother always has told me that I will SELDOM go to sleep with problems. Just a few weeks ago I got in an argument with my parents and I couldn't go to sleep. I went into their room, woke them up just to say sorry. After that I slept like a baby. God has put something in me that cannot hold onto conflict. We are to live @ peace with one another. Not in anger..
And to end my soccer story..even though I was mad in my mind at some people on my team I realized we just need to let go of it..what happens on the field stays on the field..and i told my team that. we cannot get so worked up over something that will make us hold grudges.
Jesus is coming to save us all..we are not perfect..we all need grace to fall back on. i will not be forgiven if i do not forgive them first..

xoxo..happy easter!