escape of the grumpy gills

))Read on Rebecca's oj thoughts((

so a grumpy gills i was today..bad bad case of it.
i woke up, ate a wonderful breakfast, drank beautiful coffee and took tests. all. day. long.
and the last test was during a math ACT prep...and wow did it suck. like i have a million nerves for saturday..i do not want to do bad on this test, but my main worry is that i will. i am a horrible test taker, and i always will (on paper that is). if i were to always take tests orally with someone, one on one, i would be acing all of my classes. seriously.

so all of this tension just built up inside of me today..and i came home, and i was grummmmpy. i went down to my room, scattered my stuff, pulled out my bible and fell asleep reading ephesians.
"I ask the Father in his great glory to give you the power to be strong inwardly through his spirit." --Ephesians 3:16
I want to be so strong in his spirit..but the only way to get that power is through abidingtrusting believing seeking loving.

so after all of this i decided i need some endorphins..so i went for a run! felt great. i did not bring my ipod because i talked to God the whole time. a lot of times i enjoy doing this..takes my mind off running, and it gives me time to refresh, renew, and experience God in a different way. i told him the list of things that i wish for the world. i told him that i want to help end world hunger..start world peace..end violence..help everyone to be accepted, no matter what. i gave him my desires..and i told him "you mold them to your desires for me" -- i have come to a point where i need to let go of the things i want to do- and see what he will do with those desires. when i fully SEEK God, i will have all the desires of my heart (because they are new, or old desires that God wants for me). but heres the thing: i have been so conscious in putting in effort to be with God these past few weeks..and it is rocking my world, literally. i mean, i have days where i fall..where i break..but that is all in God's process. i mean even today i snapped at people..i got upset over little things--but that is God still working in me. i am stepping out on deep water...and it's a new thing.

I will leave you guys with that tonight.
Peace.