crazy love

over the past i don't know..maybe 3 weeks i have been reading crazy love.
it is seriously changing me. when i finish reading the section each night i pray to God to help me with that challenge. give me challenge that will glorify you.
well i'm going to use a little example that has been pressuring me for a few weeks..

so every saturday i have a ralia soccer game (tonight was an exception).
..so i have sort of felt inadequate and it playing soccer has not been worth my time. i have felt unneeded, or even worse, unwanted.
so tonight i kind of hit rock bottom. and it all kind of came out.
which is okay, but it's embarrassing when the whole soccer team sees you. (usually you wait for the car ride home). here's some hope and love that i received from this book tonight on loving others: "The fact is, I need God to help me love God. And if I need His help to love Him, a perfect being, I definitely need His help to love other, fault-filled humans. Something mysterious, even supernatural must happen in order for genuine love for God to grow in our hearts. The Holy Spirit has to move in our lives." --Francis chan
---> so here's the deal. we are all people who mess up..soccer is a hard game, and sometimes we need to warn each other of people who are sneaking in..and it is not out of hatred. i am learning each and every day to not take things so personally (because quite honestly, i do). and what happens on the field is going to stay on the field.. the end.