Are you raw?

This weekend has been crazy (well since Thursday night on through).

I babysat on Thursday night, then had a sleep over, then babysat on Friday night, then babysat last night... and the ice got so bad so I just slept over at their house.  Did not go to sunday school because the roads were so bad... and I hung out with the Virginia's.  So much fun.  Then I finally made it home... and did my chem and then went and babysat.

Tonight... honestly wasn't good.  It made me question why do I work so often with kids? (now I love these kids... not anything against them... nothing honestly).  But just all the weekends getting filled up... and not enough time for myself.  I was exploding.

This weekend I have also been listening to a song that I have just been singing over and over....

Healing Begins by Tenth Avenue North.

On my ride home tonight I started to cry... and as weird as it may sound to some... I just started to talk.  To talk to God.  I was raw and honest with my feelings.  I didn't hold anything back... I told God this is what I'm struggling with... this is where I feel empty.... this is what is happening in my family right now.... why do I always have to see the doctor.... and God knows all these things... but God loves hearing from us.  God loves when we decide we need to be raw with God.  

Anyone can know anything about anyone... but it really takes the person to confront someone about it and be real with them.

I asked God if he really wanted me to be with kids the rest of my life.  I am so convinced that my calling is to be a teacher.  Some nights I am convinced completely opposite... I just cry and am frustrated and I don't want antying to do with kids.  

Now I need to finish the rest of my story.... I arrived home feeling better after having talked to God about it all.  Then I poured a glass of oj and just plopped myself in front of my mom and started to blab about it all (like usual).  I cried because I was upset and frustrated at myself for being so blind and stupid.... My mom reassured me that she had moments like that when my sister and I were growing up.  I love my mom... seriously my hero.  

I felt so much better the rest of the night.  I know God will open doors and shut doors.  If God doesn't want me to be a teacher so be it.  If he does... he's gonna give me the tools I need.

All of this to say.... Be raw with God.  All the moments you have something you have on your mind.  All the times you're enjoying yourself.  all the times you're crying on your drive home.  all the moments in the world.... be raw with God.

Have a BLESSED thanksgiving!!!!

<3Reb

Ugly

Ever feel ugly?

Inside or out.  Or both.

The days my hair isn't quite straight, I can't cover up those red bumbs, or my bags just hang out... I find myself being ugly.  Inside and out.

Sour and upset.  Everything get's in my way.

Now, those days where my hair looks just great, my face contains no blemishes, and I'm ready to move... It is easy to have beauty inside and out.

My attitude reflects how people seem me, and usually, determine if they want to be around me that day or not.

Some days, I'm ugly.

Waking up late and rushing out the door, bad test grade throws me off, I left my water at home and every teacher seems to have their water bottles that day, I have a head ache.... and the list goes on.  Are those the reasons I am ugly that day?

No of course not, it's the way I react to those situations that I ugly.

My heart isn't right; my whole perspective is blown out of proportion- I think it's the end of the world and all that I can seem to do is react horribly.

When bad things happen, I want to show beauty.  I want to demonstrate patience with others but also myself.  I want to be calm.  I want beauty.

So as this probably doesn't make sense (like a lot my stuff doesn't with stuff scattered here and there), I am challenging myself to put more beauty in, so I can have more beauty out.

That's all.

Peace,

Reb

Keeping it fresh

Today I woke up at 6:30 to the power going out and back on within 3 seconds of each other.... weird waking up.  But then I realized I really needed to pee (surprise surprise).  I go out of my room, and see white overtaking our windows.  So so pretty.  I went to the bathroom, and then went back to bed for 3 hours.

I woke up, took a shower, brewed coffee, and the snow would not let up.  It was beautiful.

My dad taught me how to drive in horrific conditions like today (especially when the plows don't come through).  It was crazy.  

My parents then told me I couldn't go to Ashley's house.  Too much danger, blah blah blah.  I call to tell Ashley, and she said her sweet fam would drive me ( I love you guys).  My parent's protested, and realized they needed to drive me one way (at least), so I made it there- and my dad made me drive.... again... i'm such a great driver in thick 8 inches of snow.

Aside all of this, Ashley and I DYED OUR HAIR!!!!!! It was so much fun.  We were listening to Christmas music, and all excited (and nervous).

 Before: A blonde and a chesnut brunette.  HAir dye virgins.

The dying process :)

 Gearing Ashley up for dying

 Your dying process in the hands of Rebe.  Scary.

 She's sweet for smiling.

 MY HAIR IS DARK.  AH!

 And ashley's hair looks purple :P

 Ready to wash!

Auburn beauty!!!!

So there's the story.  We had a lot of fun.  We are very happy with our hair!

Then we went out in the snow and made a snowman! His name is Jordan.  And he is a shorty because we were too weak to make a huge jordan.  hahahahah.

Ashley read to go outside!

Then Ashley drove me home :) and I ate a turkey sandwich and headed out the door.  I hung out with Sam and Andrew for 4 hours... First time ever babysitting them and I had a blast!

Now I'm drinking Earl grey tea.  So yumo.  

Time for sleepos.

Tomorrow at a glance:

-Church

-Clean clean clean (house is a mess because no one was around last weekend/this week).

-Do my homwork

-Babysit @ Kophischke's @ 4 :)

<3R

My thoughtful Friday

Today I had my interview to go on the Panama Mission Trip.  Mr.  Farrant and Senor interviewed me.... and they asked me about one of the things that has been a thing I've been working on- not being negative.

They asked me how I was working on that- and sorts of things I've been listening to to encourage myself.

I am worthy

I am beautiful

I am not a mistake

I have a perfect plan

I told them that these things can push me when I am feeling negative, or rather just having a horrible day.  When I feel negative, though, I am only usually internally negative.... I beat myself up.  I don't usually tear people down (but I'll admit, I definitely have), aside the point, I give myself all these reasons I am not good enough.

Truth is, when God decided that I was going to live on this earth, He also knew ahead of time that I was worthy of His time and love.

I (and many others), give ourselves so much pain and emotions that we decide, without reason, that we are not worthy.  We are worthless, dirty troublemakers.  I fall in this category.

The turning point has been in the process... I have been giving myself positive thoughts (one each day), and reminding myself multiple times a day that thought.  It has honestly impacted my day to know that I a beautiful person when I roll out of bed, smear some mascara all over, and dab blotches of powder on my face.  I don't feel beautiful, but I am because if my attitude is beautiful, I am beautiful and I am not a mistake.  Neither are you.

<3R

I have a goofy family

Well today is the day my parents and I leave Georgia.  

It has been a really fun time down here.  Being with my family.... Grandma, Keith, Chris and my cousin and cousin-in-law Surprised my sister and i!!! it was terrific.  We had a blast.  

My sister preformed so well yesterday.  Kallen and I goofed off while handing out programs.... I wish I had another day down here.

I am excited, though, to go back to Minnesota and go babysit with Kate @ Stacey's tonight :).

Then tomorrow, I'll have school, and then Ashley and I will go get hair dye.  Yayyyyy baby!

Then I'll do my homework, and go to bed.

Here's some pictures Kari, Andrew, and I took yesterday... we were all laughing like nothing else.  We did this in the lobby, too and I'm sure some people thought we were on crack.

 The Vold family is kinda weird....

 At least one good picture :)

 We're cousins.  We love each other.

 brainiacks

 nice beard, Andrew

 probably the best of them all

oh they're going to have beautiful children...

<3R

Here comes busy

I'm basically writing this post to explain my schedule.  Thank you and I love you....

Tomorrow-

:School

:Drop my car off; pick Shelby up w/Moriah

:Go downtown and serve dinner to homeless people

:Get dinner downtown

:Go to NWC for "Children of Eden" play

:Come back

:Drive to Emma's & sleep over :)

Friday-

:Drive home @ 7:30ish

:Last minute packing

:Drive to the airport

:GET STARBUCKS

:Fly to GA

:See my sister/aunt/Kallen/ect

:Work out

:Sleep in my sisters apartment

Saturday-

:Hang out with fam/friends

:Get ready for my sister's recital

:Sister's recital @ 6

:Stake n' Shake after!!!!

Sunday-

:Breakfast with my aunt & sister

:Drive to Atlanta (2 hrs 45 min)

:Fly home

:Babysit for Stacey's kids :)

Love my life.

Terrific Tuesday

I would call this Tuesday definitely Terrific.  

Yesterday was a bad day.... and today definitely made up for it.

I went in early to learn my math lesson... in the end, getting a brownie, which was delicious, and then I drank my coffee as I went about the problems before everyone arrived.

I got barely any make-up work (I got soooo lucky), and we had the debate today in Bible... that was so interesting (so excited for it to continue).  

Also, Allie brought in this lotion for everyone to use that smells like Christmas.  Mmmm... I love christmas.  BRING IT, NOVEMBER!!!

Oh yeah, did I mention it's also my half birthday today?? Pretty great day :)

After school I went to the Salon Professional Academy & had the SWEETEST lady of my life!!! Her name is Laura and she is hilarious, sweet and hard working.

I went to Chins Asia Fresh in Minnetonka to pick up dinner for my mom and I before I went home, then my mom and I ate, I did my homework, took a shower, watched the election stuff come in, and now I'm studying for Chem/getting ready to sleep.

Here's some pics from the past few days....

So... yesterday I went home with a head ache, stomach ache and a hacking cough.... I put on my pj's and slept for hours.  It felt amazing.  I didn't have a head or stomach ache anymore.. I'm still coughing but that's why I have tea!

And water!!!!

Chem studying.  Who even understands these polyatomicions???

so... I got a hairscut.

::love and peace on earth::